Overland with Kids

Jessica says:

“We’re in Moscow, we’re in a hotel and we’re watching the World Cup!”

AJ says:

“We went to Gorky Park and mum and dad bought me a dog”. (The dog is big helium balloon in the shape of a huge Dalmation - but AJ finally got his wish to have a 4-legged friend!)

Dad says:

This trip is terrible - what day is it?” (Andrew is on the mend!)

En-route to Moscow

From St Petersburg and Novgorod, we drove late into the night toward Moscow, in no rush and stopping off now again for a break. Lorries rule the motorway especially at night and every now again we would see clumps of stalls grouped together selling wares such as huge cuddly toys and small rugs. Another time we saw row after row of tiny huts with smoke steaming big hot silver urns of we don’t know what - possibly tea or some other liquid concoction. These strange sights come to life at night - like fairground attractions with their bright coloured,flashing, fairy lights. These stalls lure truckers in for a break or to buy that last minute gift for their children or wives (or ‘my vooman!’ (my woman!) as they say in Russia!) before reaching home from their long distance trawl.

The roads were generally good - nothing of concern - but there was a huge amount of fast moving traffic and many cars have no number plates - we assume from the amount of bashes from the rear, causing the plate to fall off - or possibly other reasons - but if there was a registration number it was usually moved and stuck up inside the rear window. Despite the heat of the day - unbelievable and searingly hot - not something we ever expected of Russia even though summer - but it was very misty at night on the way through.

Driving during the daytime, we stopped at a rather dodgy looking truckers lorry park selling fuel out of a sea container only to find a nice little cafe selling drinks and food alongside. But the toilets though were another matter and we decided these were definately not to be trifled with - a square hole cut out of the wooden floor - you could see the gap and the earth underneath if you dared look long enough! (…….the opening scenes of the film ‘Slum Dog Millionaire’ came to mind). Not all roadside cafes are like this though - many are immaculately clean - we were just unlucky in finding the initial one to stop at.

We saw a couple of campsite signs en-route to discover these were places for lorry drivers to park safely, pay a small fee and sleep at night. Boy George, Freddy Mercury, The Eagles (Hotel Calafornia) and Dido featured on the radio. Driving at night, we passed a fair few dodgy cash only petrol stations with plenty of working girls alive and kicking. We kept moving till we found somewhere decent about 100km outside of Moscow to rest.

Early next day, before hitting the main outer ring road of Moscow, we found McDonalds where we managed to order everything wrong and ended up spending a small fortune - 3 orders and 3 burgers later that we didn’t want - we couldn’t work out how we managed to get it so wrong - there are pictures to point at and a Big Mac and a Happy Meal are universal. Next door was a decent sized petrol station where we bought a small detailed atlas of Moscow all in Cyrillic and returned to the car find our vehicle being photographed by a journalist (Alexei) and a photographer (Andrei) - both keen 4×4 off-roaders based in Moscow who have travelled and tested cars extensively. After a good chat and exchanging details (www.all-road.ru) in our very bad Russian but ever-improving mime routines, we set off on our way.

Andrenalin Andy Rules the Roads!

Well maybe this title is not quite true but we were brave enough to attempt the famous Moscow traffic - much, much worse than St Petersburg. Moscow is massive with a huge 6 lane ring road in either direction on it’s outerskirts and then two equally big inner ring roads to compete with before you get any where near the centre. Drivers are crazy, it is incredibly busy and we saw the aftermath of several cars accidents -some very bad. Vigilance is essential and we had what felt like several near misses. There are in fact 5 lanes but the hard shoulder is used as the unofficial 6th lane by the many cars undertaking, for lorries and emergency services parking and for hauling crashed wreckages off. Much of the traffic weaves through all of the lanes to try to get a few feet further - it is very fast moving with plenty of one way only systems and cars/lorries pulling onto the main drags with no warning - there is absolutely is no mercy! Andrew became a bit of a junkie shouting ‘YES!’ and raising his fist like he’d just scored a goal when successfully sweeping across several lanes to get us to where we needed to be. And then ‘NO!’ when we’d stalled the car somewhere at a traffic light, holding up a queue and getting honked to death.

Heading into the city centre took a while due to the volume of traffic (it was Saturday). The cyrillics were baffling though there are English translations on many of the main roads - great if you happen to have a dual Russian-English map. We had to stop and get away from the main streams of traffic a couple of times to check our route - but even stopping was a challenge to find somewhere. Somehow, we didn’t go too far wrong and were heading on the right track - straight in the direction of the Kremlin as planned.

Before we knew it the Kremlin walls and towers along with St Basil’’s Cathedral quickly came into sight - we were excited as it was only feet from us and we had a full sized view - really amazing. We tried to stop to get a better view but were quickly moved on by the Police who are really on the ball and take no nonsense. Driving away, we saw a stream of limousines and hummers (or nemo’s as the children call them), all containing diffferent groups of newly married bridal parties waiting for their pre-organised photo opportunties (the Kremlin (Gremlin) contains the heart of the Orthodox Church of Russia).

Straight over the bridge in front of us took us in the general direction of the hotel we were seeking. We got a bit lost (derigeur), found our bearings and after a while drove on again and to find some parking. We were tired, it was searing hot and it took us about half a day to find the hotel on foot as it was so tucked out of the way. We daren’t move the car from where it was parked for fear of getting lost on the busy road systems and finding a parking space was very difficult to almost impossible in Moscow.

With the help of Ali, a road sweeper from Kurdistan who could speak English, we eventually located the hotel, checked in and then moved the car. We stayed for 3 nights (approx 150 Euros per night for all of us including buffet breakfast at Hotel Warsaw - aaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!! but not bad for the four of us by Moscow’s standards). We should have taken time to sort a hostel - if only, if only, if only - but we were here now, didn’t fancy the mammoth task of driving across town again and the location of the hotel was perfect for us. We were in easy walking distance of the Kremlin from across the Moscow River and a stone’s throw (next door almost) to the fun and thrills of Gorky Park. We could fall out of bed into the underground Metro and the bucket loads of cafes, shops, stalls and restaurants around us. Andrew was still in recovery mode from his ear (had been affecting his eating and sleep etc. - he was still catching up), we wanted comfort and too see as much of Moscow as easily as possible. Despite all this, the hotel cost was a worringly massive lump from our budget.

Following a relaxing first nights stay and a late 11am breakfast - it was Sunday - the streets were busy but the traffic much more relaxed. It was hot,we were still tired and wilting from the heat but also the driving. We did absolutely nothing for a few hours except chill in our hotel room. Late afternoon/early evening, we headed a 2 minute walk away, next door to Gorky Park.

Gorky Park

Gorky Park (named after a famous writer Maxim Gorky considered to be the founder of Socialist Realism literature and art) takes in a 3km stretch by the river near Krymsky Bridge with ornamental park area, fountains and a permanent funfair with water log, tea cups, bumper cars, ferris wheel and a very fast and scary looking Euro Star rollercoaster ride to name but a few. The park is open till midnight and with cafes and restaurants everywhere inside the grounds and was a great move for us. Real reindeeer, camels, horses and pony rides featured and there were plenty of photo opportunties. Candy floss and helium filled balloons were aplenty and it was here we bought the dog for AJ and a ‘Patrick’ from Sponge Bob Square Pants for Jessica. The famous ‘Buran’ Soviet space shuttle that never took anyone to space is also based here to climb up and view and there is also an ice rink. The views of the river were our favourite - nice and peaceful — plenty of large boats drifting by and pretty nice scenery. After a wander around, a go on a couple of the rides, some drinks and two balloons later - we headed back to the hotel to make some much needed phone calls, watched the World Cup in Russian and then slept.

The Kremlin

We spent the following day visiting the Kremlin and it felt like a real milestone for us standing in Red Square, being able to see the Unknown Soldiers burial place, the eternal light, the goose-stepping changing guards, Lenin’s masouleum, St Basil’s Cathedral, the ages old fortified walls, the towers, the Senate and all it’s surrounds. Anne’s favourite was St Basil’s, Andrew’s was Red Square while the children loved the goose-stepping march - they were mesmerised (AJ thought they were very good at their job especially as it was so hot). They also loved the life sized Spiderman and Bart Simpson characters dressed up for photo opportunities afterwards, not far away outside the fortified walls. Jessica and AJ goose-stepped all the way back to the hotel, buying special soldiers hats covered in medals along the way to complete the look.

On the day we visited the Kremlin, we left the hotel early and decided to take a walking tour along the way - taking in the rivers, monuments, bridges, lovers padlock trees, the famous Children are the Victims of Vice sculpture, a stroll and a play in the park, a birdseye view of the Kremlin and a general tour of the surrounding area.

Jessica and AJ were our navigators for the day and they brought a compass and maps to help us route find. Before leaving Red Square itself we sat down in one of only two very expensive cafes that face directly onto it, celebrating our visit with two drinks each - a big mistake as it cost us nearly another night’s hotel stay - if only, if only, if only! But we loved every minute of the experience.

While at the Kremlin, we bought ourselves a little guide book from the tourist bookshop so we could learn more about what we were looking at and to relate what we were seeing to the children better - about Lenin and Stalin in particular. We finished the day with a meal in a reasonably priced Italian restuarant and headed back to our hotel, taking in the Metro, the underground subways complete with some fantastic classical buskers playing, a visit through the back streets and a peek inside a couple of the smaller Orthodox churches dotted along the way.

We loved Moscow - we think it rocks and would have liked to have stayed longer - overall a very cosmopolitan, happening and sharp place. There are plenty of sushi bars, night clubs and gorgeous people all over the place putting us to shame in our travelling garb. Expensive cars, restaurants and shops are plentiful but there are budget places like any major city if you take the time to look.

Hints and Tips we’ve learned along the way

Moscow - Arrive and park late evening or early morning - more spaces available. Don’t drive on a Saturday (especially northbound - traffic was at a standstill as we were coming in). Don’t drive on a weekday or during morning or evening rush hour. Best time to drive - try Sunday, much more relaxed.

St Petersburg - similar considerations though not quite as mad and crazy like Moscow

Always make sure you carry a reasonable amount of hard cash (rubles only are fine) as many petrol stations and cafes along the motorway won’t accept cards.

Payment up front for fuel is always required.

Both cities are very expensive - bring lots of money!

We found blue and white Gas sign stations and the red and white emblem Lukoil stations the best.

There are plentiful petrol stations and cafes along the motorways between Ivangorod, St Petersburg and Moscow

Vehicle insurance - it covers any driver as long as the owner has cover (no named second driver required)

Apple juice is freshly squeezed - tastes very refreshing and tangy but too strong for the children it’s that pure (and frothy!).

Toilets often communal in places and one restaurant there were two loos in one cubicle. Beware of some of the motorway cafe toilets. Petrol station ones we mentioned tend to be much cleaner and better for facilities.

Russians love their Sushi bars. 

Diary (Blog)